Shakespeare wrote, “Pity the world, or else this glutton be/ To eat the world’s due, by the grave and thee.”

Like the grave, I eat the beauty owed to the world- for my refusal to procreate render me a selfish glutton.

I never wanted babies.

They cry louder than two CFM56 aircraft engines at takeoff thrust. True story.

No. Babies.

Then happened that night in a dingy Hong Kong hotel room.

Or perhaps it was our sofa armrest.

Thrust. Moan. Thrust. Moan.

All that kinetic energy…

Late period.

One week late.

Two weeks late.

Three weeks late.

Home pregnancy test.

Two lines: pregnant.

No.

NO.

NOOO.

Shock.

Despair.

Anguish.

Anger.

A heartbeat in my womb.

A heartbeat in my…

A heartbeat in…

A heartbeat…

A…

No heartbeat in my womb.

NO heartbeat in my womb???

Doctor says, no heartbeat in my womb.

What was is no more.

I inhale.

No more heartbeat in my womb.

…..

….

..

.

..

….

…..

I wait for the grief to come.

I wait.

And wait.

Wait.

But it doesn’t.

Picture credit: www.ministrymatters.com