It was a hot and sunny afternoon. Wait, did I say hot? I meant scorching. Sweltering. BURNING. Cook-your-internal-organs. It was as if hell got bored and spat fire all over our world.

Yet somehow, Jo, Nat, and I took it upon ourselves to pedal around the Federal Territory of Putrajaya. Clearly, the stress of existing has affected our brains.

After renting three electric bicycles from Ebikes, the kind guy at the bike booth offered to show us the way to the Putrajaya Botanical Garden. So there we went, pedalling bravely into the Malaysian heat waves.

Actually, Jo and Nat did more pedalling than I did. Unlike the two masochist who insisted on riding their electric bikes like cavewomen (“we’ve got to burn the calories we consumed!”), I decided to operate my electric bike like the manufacturer intended—with the electric motor, burning fossil fuels as I cruised.

Would you buy an electric toothbrush to use like a regular toothbrush? Would you acquire a cake mixer to whisk batter by hand? Would you use a vibrator to masturbate* manually? No? Then why are you riding that electric bike like a regular bike??!!” I presented those very valid points to Jo, my best friend of 17 years, to which she promptly ignored.

*Technically, masturbation is, by definition, manual labour.

Putrajaya Botanical Garden


Distant view of the Putrajaya Bridge, not to be confused with the Putra Bridge, or the Seri Wawasan Bridge.

Quick information-dispensing about Putrajaya: Malaysia’s federal administrative capital. Green city. Smart city. Planned city. Impressive architecture. Home of people who have lied to us, cheated us, piled promises on us, promised to save us, disappointed us, might actually save us…

I’m holding my breath.

The Prime Minister’s Office (PMO). This is where the drama happens.
Here’s another shot of the PMO. This is where the, um, alternate truths are fabricated.

In some ways, Putrajaya felt rigid. Orchestrated, if I may. After all, it is a planned city. Even the greenery was designed. Colossal buildings were erected left and right—many white elephants, but certainly aesthetically-pleasing. Think Capitol of Panem.

Taman Putra Perdana
Nobody’s ever accused Putrajaya of lacking monuments.
For all it’s worth, monuments are our history. Putrajaya is a mark of our progress. We should never regret that.
And may we never look back. (This is a shot of the view behind me as I stood at the monument.)
Istana Melawati
Our Agong’s second home.

Of course, Putrajaya is incomplete without her bridges. They are legion, for they are many. We’ve already glimpsed Putrajaya Bridge (scroll up).

But if you’re one of the cool kids, Putra Bridge is the place to be. There, parked cars flanked the wide road. Jalur Gemilangs hung from every street lamp—let there be no doubt that this is the administrative capital of Malaysia. On the sidewalks, families loitered around, just hanging out. Joggers sped by, their trainers pounding the concrete slabs. I saw a couple wheeze by on electric scooters—I wonder if Jo and Nat would also try to ride those manually to “burn calories”.

Putra Mosque as viewed from Putra Bridge.
That’s Seri Wawasan Bridge (another one of the bridges). At night, the bridge bursts into a stunning array of colours. From blue to green, yellow, orange, red, pink; running on a loop… It’s breathtaking. Seri Wawasan has a special place in my heart, for Broady and I took our wedding photos there. I remember the experience like it was yesterday. He looked all hot and sexy while I sweated profusely, farting like a gusty day.
Putra Bridge at night.

Moving on from bridges, Putrajaya is full of intriguing buildings. I’m not an architecture buff in particular, but one building fascinated me. See picture below:

The MACC HQ

This is the HQ of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC). Initially, I was puzzled—do they really need such a big building? Then I realised—they do. Oh boy, they totally do. In fact, they better be well-staffed. If you are Malaysian and do not live under a rock, you would know that this department is probably overworked.

But my fascination did not end there. Look hard at the picture above, then tell me the building does not look like an AT-AT.

An AT-AT. Picture Credit: www.starwars.com

Right??!!

Anyway, here are my final thoughts: if you put Jo and Nat in an AT-AT, they would probably try to operate it manually. You know, to “burn calories”.