On the day before new year,

My true love said to me:

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the first day of new year,

I dealt angpaus, 

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the second day of new year,

I tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the third day of new year,

I played “never have I ever”,

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the fourth day of new year,

I gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”,

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the fifth day of new year,

I drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”,

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the sixth day of new year,

I played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”,

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the seventh day of new year,

I watched “Sex Education”,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”,

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the eighth day of new year,

I partied in a red dress,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the ninth day of new year,

I slept past noon,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Partied in a red dress,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the tenth day of new year,

I learned about string theory,

Slept past noon,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Partied in a red dress,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the eleventh day of new year,

I discerned the virgin birth,

Learned about string theory,

Slept past noon,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Partied in a red dress,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the twelfth day of new year,

I fumed over corrupted capitalism,

Discerned the virgin birth,

Learned about string theory,

Slept past noon,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Partied in a red dress,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the thirteenth day of new year,

I tormented my finger ligaments,

Fumed over corrupted capitalism,

Discerned the virgin birth,

Learned about string theory,

Slept past noon,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Partied in a red dress,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the fourteenth day of new year,

I posted a picture of brown Shrek,

Tormented my fingered ligaments,

Fumed over corrupted capitalism,

Discerned the virgin birth,

Learned about string theory,

Slept past noon,

Watched “Sex Education”,

Partied in a red dress,

Played mahjong,

Drank like a fish,

Gave my friend a vibrator,

Played “never have I ever”

Tossed yee sang,

Dealt angpaus,

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.

On the fifteenth day of new year,

My true love said to me:

“Stop molesting my ass, you pervert”.